Complaining it is one of those things that we all do to try and feel better. But does it really work? What can we do to feel better in a mindful way, rather then considering all the things that make us feel bad? Complaining does not just deplete you of your mental energy, it can drain you of your physical energy and can lead to you feeling worse. While it is true that complaining when you are venting about a situation that upset you can make you feel better by getting what is on your mind off your chest, it is when you chronically complain that it can become a major issue. Another thing to consider is how you are making the listener feel when you complain, too much complaining can also lead to a breakdown in relationships.

Moving into positivity

Getting into a positive space and away from complaining comes with practice. When we are used to simply complaining and venting whenever something does not go right, then can manifest itself into negative emotions which can carry on to negative self talk and more.

Now moving on to positive thoughts is not just about thinking positive. While positive thinking is important, it is more about changing our perceptions. Changing your perception comes with practice and changes in your thinking.

So how to do we change how we think and how to we move on?

1. Mindfulness – Start with mindfulness, things like meditation, deep breathing and yoga can call help to relax your mind. Start with a daily routine to incorporate theses things into your life. You don’t have to start big, just a simple 5-minute meditation or 10-minute yoga video in the morning or evening can really help relax you for the day or can help you sort out your thoughts in the evening. Meditation and yoga both involve deep breathing help to bring oxygen to your brain which can help with clarification of your thoughts.
2. Distractions – Finding productive things to distract yourself with can also help in resolving complaining. When people do something productive, they often feel more productive and accomplished. When you put your mind into something more productive like taking on a new hobby, you allow your mind time to rest and be creative, leading to more positive thinking and feelings of joy from the activity you are working to accomplish.
3. Surrounding yourself with positive people – One of the most common things your can do to change your perspective is to keep positive company. Positive company in the form of people you choose to hangout with is extremely important. When you are around people who think positive on a regular basis, you to will become more positive. As they say, birds of a feather stick together. This is true when it comes to who you choose to spend your time with. While you might not notice the changes right away, you will notice the changes in your thinking by directing your attention to people who commonly have a more joyful and optimistic outlook on life.
4. Gratefulness – Counting your blessings really does work. Once you realize even the simple things that you have in your life that you are grateful for, then you will realize how much you have to be happy about. This can also help to change perceptions. 
5. Being less judgemental – This is for yourself and those around you. First, we must realize that we need to stop judging ourselves. Understand what your weaknesses and strengths are. Be happy with your strengths and then accept your weaknesses. You can also find ways to work on your weaknesses in a positive fashion, give yourself time and grace, and learn to accept what you can change and what you cannot.  Finally, the same thing goes for how you think about others. Once we realize that other people, are individuals like us, who have joys and issues in life, the more compassionate we will be towards others. This will also lead to more feelings of gratitude and positivity in ourselves. 

Gratitude is one thing that can help us effectively practice mindfulness while promoting wellbeing. Wellbeing is one aspect of life that is important above all, when we have a good sense of wellbeing, we can clarify what we want out of life and can function healthily. Journaling and writing down your goals and gratitude can help you realize what you must be grateful for and can help to boost confidence.

When we go into the autopilot mode of thinking it is so easy to get sidetracked and then to start thinking about what we do not like about ourselves when can lead down a path of self-sabotage. Right now, with everything going on and with the world-changing day by day, it is important to look inward to take positive actions in all aspects of our lives.

So how can you journal to boost your well being, while focusing on what you are grateful for?

Be intentional – Being intentional about your gratitude practice can help you set aside time each day, it does not have to be long, just 5 or 10 minutes is fine, can help you to get into the habit of gratitude. Your gratitude can be something as simple as writing out a few words about what you are grateful for, to writing out a paragraph about why you are grateful for it. The main aspect is that you select a time of day, whether it is morning or night, and practice your gratitude daily.

Authenticity – Being authentic when you are writing will help you to realize the things that you have that you did not even realize you were grateful for. Trying to be creative and think about different things to write each day is also key. While we may have the same things that we are grateful for regularly, changing up your thoughts daily will help you to realize the variety of things you have to be grateful for daily.

Overall the experience of journaling and gratitude can bring about new thoughts and help you to restore a sense of calm in your life. When we focus on what is important in our lives, and what makes us feel good, day by day we will see a positive change in our lives.

In our busy world of coming and going, we can often lose sight of what is most important – our health and wellness. Today’s society is so focused on how much you can achieve in the shortest amount of time. While surfing Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter it is not uncommon to come across advertisements about how to achieve more, do more, and acquire more. We live in a world of consumerism and people who promise to sell remedies that will help you do more and become rich quicker than ever before. While setting goals for achievement is important, you must make time for your physical and mental wellness.

Making time in your life for what makes you happy is just as important as being successful in your career. Life is short, and burning the candle at both ends, so to speak, is an easy way to achieve burnout. Burnout can lead to complacency and other health issues related to stress. So, when you find yourself busy, working during your time off, and wondering when you will get the next chance to catch your breath take a few of the below strategies to help you regain control of your life to slow down and recollect what is most important – your wellness.

1. Routine – Set a routine. I have a morning and evening routine, which includes getting up at 6 am to greet the day and a lights out by 9:30 pm policy. When you set a morning routine, try to avoid the usual rushing around, forgetting to eat, and running out the door to work plan. Try to get up every 30 minutes earlier and incorporate small things in your new routine like yoga, meditation, relaxing while drinking your coffee, or creating a simple to-do list. Start small and then incorporate more items into your routine, as an alternative you can also keep your new habits in the morning small. It could be as simple as sitting still and listening to silence to wake up or listening to a short meditation that lasts four minutes.

The important thing is that you pick an activity and stick to it and if you try it and it does not work for you then try something else. When starting a new morning routine, you do not have to start the gate by getting up at 5 am if you are used to getting up at 7 am. Start small and gradually increase the time that you get up. This way it will be much easier on your body and you will have an easier time adjusting to your new routine.

• Look at your schedule – When looking at your schedule think to yourself, what am I doing that I do not enjoy or that do not serve a purpose anymore. Whatever you find does not serve a purpose anymore or that you do not enjoy, scale back on these commitments and exit by giving proper notice. Now, these items could be things that free up time for you to do something else that you enjoy, or they could be for something that allows you to practice more mindfulness. The point of changing up your schedule could be to free up time to relax or to take part in an activity that has meaning.

Regarding mindfulness, it can be practicing gratitude, meditation, exercise, or doing other activities that have meaning. Whichever activity you choose ensure that it feeds your soul, relaxes you, and renews your sense of purpose.

• Technology – One of the biggest sources of stress these days, is the fact that we are connected 24/7. Finding time to shut off your phone even for 30 minutes a day is important. Some people go to the extent that they will take the weekend and shut off their phone for the weekend to recharge their batteries. While this will work for some people, others might not be able to do this due to the need of being accessible regarding family obligations or other things. If you cannot shut down your phone, consider putting the smartwatch away after 7 pm and setting your phone to automatically go into do not disturb mode from 7 pm to 8 am. That way you will not be getting an endless string of pings on your phone when it is time to wind down for the day. If you have people that you need to be in touch with regardless of the time of day, add them to your favorites list, so that if they do call during your do not disturb times, you will still receive the call, and try not making these contacts from your workplace!

• Focusing and being present – Being present is important it can help improve concentration and improve your overall well-being. If you find it hard to be present, start small and focus on the little things. For example, if you are cutting an apple and find your mind worrying or wondering about something that is happening two weeks from now, refocus and say to yourself, “I am cutting this apple right now, and I will focus on these thoughts when the time is right”.

The same goes for when you are communicating with people. Focus on what they are saying, engage in the conversation, and listen to what they are saying. By engaging in the conversation with the other person and showing that you are listening, your mind will begin to be present and not focus on wandering off in the other direction and thinking about things other than to topic at hand. This task will be challenging at first, but with the time you will get more focused and will lead to more engaged relationships.

• Take appreciation in the small things – When we take appreciation in the small things in life like playing a game with your children or walking in nature, we allow our brains to slow down. Focusing on the small things that you enjoy in life allows you to refocus and meditate on life’s simple pleasures. When doing this ensure that you are fully present and think to yourself that you are happy that you have a warm home to live in while doing general chores. These simple things in life are what make up a large portion of our time and appreciating the small things will add more joy to your life.

In today’s world people are constantly trying to do more, be more, and live up to a certain standard of success. We work more, go to the gym more, spend thousands on procedures to look a certain way, and run ourselves into burnout trying to achieve a standard of success that society sets. But who set this standard? What exactly is it and why are we even chasing these standards if we and spinning our wheels and wearing ourselves out to only be exhausted and not happy when we achieve this so-called standard of success?

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you are enough and that the way you are now is perhaps the way you are meant to be? While it is true that we should be looking for ways to do our best and look for ways to achieve goals that we set for our selves, it is also true that we should not drive our selves to the point of exhaustion so that we are not able to enjoy what is set in front of us.

When I say you are enough what I mean is that you have worked hard to get to where you are and as an individual, you should stop and enjoy what you have achieved. Each person has their special talents that were given to us and had a unique way to contribute to society. Not everyone has to work in the same field or work to achieve the c-suite in the business world to be successful. It is important that you celebrate your achievements, work towards your goals, and learn to accept yourself as you are.

Being yourself on purpose is important, accepting your flaws, accepting your body the way it is, and looking for ways to utilize your strengths is important. Every person is placed in a specific place and at a specific time for a reason. Therefore, for this reason, it is time to accept your challenges, live your life with gratitude, and most importantly when you look in the mirror that you love yourself.